I realized that if I am going to be able to function I have to let go of thinking too far ahead. No big plans, no grand schemes, no well thought out goals to work towards this year. For a change I am just going to take it one day at a time and go with the flow.
Part of my problem is I love to make big plans but I am ridiculously limited by what my mast cells will tolerate and that can change from day to day. Some days I wake up bright red and covered in hives for seemingly no reason and other days it takes quite a bit of my known “triggers” to wake up my immune system.
Either way, anaphylaxis is always lurking like a stalker in a cheesy slasher flick. Especially this time of year and in the months to come. This morning we hung up the fake wasp nests I bought to try and get on top of the plague of murderous little demons that are waking up out there.
One flew past me yesterday in fact!
This time of year I usually find one or two queens in the windows, frantically trying to escape because they’ve been holed up all winter inside which they are prone to do. I didn’t know that until I was almost stung by one in mid February a few years ago. I knocked it out of its hiding place in the closet and came close to potentially meeting my fate right then and there.
I do have epipens nearby and all that but there’s no guarantee they’ll save me thanks to this stupid disease. I guess I’m lucky as some of us are allergic to epipens, too. 😫
Anyway, this post isn’t about mast cell dysfunction. I actually have another blog just for that which I have been neglecting, so maybe I’ll go over there and post more about the absurdity of being allergic to planet earth. Over here I’ll just remind us both why it’s worth the risk of almost certain death to be out there in the garden.
Ironically my garden is helping to keep me alive because so many foods in the grocery store make me sick, so it’s kind of a necessary risk I have to take to insure I’m getting truly organic, chemical free food. If that’s even possible with everything in the air and water and soil.
It can get exhausting making sure the chickens are eating clean so that when I eat their eggs (or them), I don’t get sick. We only use natural fertilizers and no chemicals, but who knows what’s coming in on the wind or what was even in the soil since this was farmland for decades before we moved here.
Do all the chemicals they used for industrial farming ever truly disappear? Who knows. All I can do is do my best and hope for the best at this point.
2 thoughts on “Hoping for the Best”
It is hard to pace yourself when your mind is big and busy!
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It really is!