My New Friend, Kevin

No, not the squirrel, he was cute but he wasn’t very friendly.

Actually, my new friend called a few days ago out of the blue and we hit it off immediately. He phoned to tell me I’d won a local sweepstakes I had entered (really?!) and my prize was either a brand new truck, a trip to Paris or $50,000.

My choice! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

I couldn’t hardly believe my luck. I’ve never won anything before, especially from a sweepstakes I’d never entered! So I started prying the details out of him and he assured me it wasn’t a scam and I wouldn’t have to give over my credit card or banking information.

Whew. That was a relief.

“All you have to do is go to the nearest Walmart and buy a gift card to pay for the fees that the government charges so they can release your prizes,” he said, using his best “Kevin” voice.

“Which government is that?” I asked him.

“What you mean, ma’am,” he replied, seemingly caught off guard.

“I mean, your government or mine?” I pressed.

“Oh, well, of course our government, ma’am. I am calling you from Idaho,” he assured me. Sure enough, the number he was calling from had an Idaho area code.

Seemed legit.

Still, I had my suspicions. ๐Ÿคจ

I asked him again if he was sure about that because I had a feeling he was calling me from Park street in Calcutta. As soon as I said that, he got very quiet and all I could hear was the sound of all his coworkers, who were probably also named Kevin, in the background chatting to their new American friends.

Finally, he stumbled a bit and assured me, yet again, that he’s from Iowa.

“You mean Idaho,” I reminded him.

“Yes, yes, ma’am, Idaho!”

Once that was settled, he continued with his sales pitch and told me time was of the essence or I would lose out on my prize! I needed to hurry and get the gift card and get the numbers to him right away!!

I told him to chill out. I was getting my shoes on and to give me a minute. Then we began to chat about life in Idaho and I told him I was anxious for the snow to come and he said he was, too. The pups were making a racket in the background so he asked about them, too.

“Do you know Pierogi?” I asked at one point and again… silence.

“Ahh, who is dat, ma’am?” he asked, suddenly dropping his “Kevin accent”.

“You know, Pierogi at Scammer Payback? I’m sure you’ve heard of him by now! He’s quite famous here and I’m pretty sure he’s quite famous over there, too.”

Long pause.

“No, no Pierogi here,” he finally said, sounding a bit angry.

“Ask your colleagues there on Park street in Calcutta if they know Pierogi while I find my car keys. I’ll wait!” I insisted.

More silence. Then… click.

He hung up. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Dang it, I thought. I must have struck a nerve.

Now I’d gone and lost my new friend. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

But then two days later he called back as “David” and told me I’d won 7 MILLION dollars! And of course all I’d have to do is give him my bank account number so he could transfer it right away.

“No gift card this time?”

“No, no gift card. Just give me your banking number,” he said.

I asked him how many people actually fall for his scams and he told me it didn’t matter how many, was *I* going to fall for it was the real question! ๐Ÿ˜†

We had a good laugh and I was able to let him know what I think of him and his ilk before he said some really ugly things and then hung up on me again.

Ah, well.

I hope he calls back again soon.

In the meantime, I’m going to go watch Pierogi some more. ๐Ÿ˜„

3 thoughts on “My New Friend, Kevin

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s