I Blinked… And They Were Gone

Motherhood is both the greatest and the most difficult thing. It changed me in ways I still can’t put into words but these two pictures sum it up for me.

The first one is of two of our three kids the first time we took them to Yellowstone park when we moved here 14 years ago. They were still young enough to be full of wonder and excitement at the world and they definitely were that day.

But then I blinked, and they were gone.

They had run off to play at our camp site and I felt it at that moment. I just knew these two shots would forever bring me back nostalgically to not only that day and that snapshot in time, but that they would forever sum up motherhood for me.

And they do!

My daughter is now 26 years old and on her own, but my son, who is just two years older than his sister, has moved back in with us again after trying to live independently several times. He also has mast cell disease, like me, which makes his life unbelievably difficult. At times, it makes life unbearable for us both, so we lean on one another because even though friends and family are sympathetic, only we truly understand what it’s like.

He gets really down knowing how limiting his life is and I do, too. As a mom it’s hard for me to watch him suffer and I have the added guilt of passing down a rare disease to one of my children. Would I have still had him had I known? I don’t know. It’s an awful burden to curse someone with. But I am glad he’s here and I am glad we both got diagnosed so we know what we are dealing with. I’m also glad that we have each other to get through this challenging life together although I do worry so about what will happen to him when I’m gone.

We are planning a Mother’s Day trip to Yellowstone park this year. The wildflowers are blooming and I want to get some good pictures of them and also of all the new spring babies.

It’s where we took these pictures and I’d like to have the kids pose again for me in the same spot. That would totally make my day! 🙂

2 thoughts on “I Blinked… And They Were Gone

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