I don’t know about where you live, but here at my place we still get an inordinate amount of door-to-door salespeople. Which is both annoying and ironic because we barely get any Boy or Girl scouts and almost zero trick-or-treaters on Halloween. I’d much rather have cute little kids selling me cookies or begging for candy while dressed up as Satan’s minions than these adult humans who seem to have zero shame.

I say that because they brazenly walk right past my fancy little “No Soliciting” sign prominently placed on the way up to the front door. Worse, they then go on to ignore my not-so-subtle “GO AWAY” sign that I have permanently turned around just for them.

It used to say “WELCOME” but can go either way, depending on my mood:

I am dumbfounded that anyone would have the nerve to ignore these fair warnings and pretend that it is still 1950 when door-to-door salesmen were all the rage.

Over the years I quit answering the door altogether but since the day we moved in (literally) I’ve had them try to sell me everything from cleaning supplies I don’t need to books I won’t read to religion I don’t want to be a part of.

We live in a heavily Mormon area and they are quite tenacious about it, even going so far as to try and guilt me by leaving me pictures of angry Jesus with nice little scripture on the back tucked in the screen door!

It didn’t work, of course. But that doesn’t stop them from trying!

So I guess I have to step up my “NO SOLICITING!!!” game and upgrade my little sign out front. I was looking at a bunch of them this morning and have narrowed it down to these:

I like it, but it’s probably not “in your face” enough for these people. They just don’t seem to get it.

This one is funny and gets my point across better:

But again, they would probably just ignore it.

This one I really like as it could earn me some much needed extra income:

But then again, it might not be enough of a deterrent. The LDS church is loaded and could easily afford my fee.

Actually, I think this one would get right to the point (I would use the uncensored version of course):

Of course then I’d be inundated with pictures of angry Jesus and we’d be back to square one.

Maybe I’ll just remove the front door altogether and make them have to go through the back gate and through the husky play yard to get to me.

That will definitely deter them!

Well. Maybe…